My Dream Indy 4 Outline

H’okay. So after I saw KotCS I was so angry I wrote an outline for a satisfying Indy 4. It would never work as a movie at this point because it takes place in 1945-1946 but would make a great novel or animated film.  Here’s a summary of my 9 page outline.

Indiana Jones and the Shards of Destiny

Indy is part of a crack team of American/Russian paratroopers that land in Berlin on the eve of Hitler’s death. After a chase on halftracks through the city they are able to break into the Fuhrerbunker and find almost everyone dead. We find out that one of Hitler’s aids became a turn cloak and was siphoning information to the Allies, she is one of the remaining people alive awaiting their rescue. In secret, she explains to Indy the role the Spear of Longinus (spear that pierced the side of Jesus Christ) in Hitler’s war. Hitler died because it was stolen from him by a rogue U-boat commander who was currently on his way to Antarctica. A double cross occurs on the part of the American paratroopers so that they can capture the turn cloak. This plot was hidden from Indy and he is forced to go along with it. He ends up smuggling the turn cloak on a plane headed for the West but is captured by the Russians before he can escape himself.

He is tortured and left in a prison for a few months but never reveals information from the turn cloak. He is eventually released after a sympathetic Russian commander (and fan of Indy’s previous exploits) convinces his superiors. Indy returns to the US and learning during his debriefing that Operation Highjump, an exploratory expedition to Antarctica has an ulterior motive. The true mission is to attack the secret Nazi base. Indy also learns that the Nazi turn cloak has been making a name for herself and has become an integral part of the expedition due to her intimate knowledge of the base and the sub commander (they were romantically engaged before he ran away).

In Antarctica, a large firefight ensues between the US navy and the German navy which eventually shifts to inside the base (think Spy Who Love Me). Indy eventually comes to blows with the sub commander to learn that he lost the spear the night before by accidentally dropping it in the water. Subs have been searching for it and were caught off guard when the Americans attacked. Indy also learns of the spear’s history and all the various leaders who have had it. The myth states that whoever has it is invincible but as soon as they lose it they face almost immediate death. He also learns that spear was broken into 3 pieces after Jesus’s death, every leader in history has only had one piece. Hitler stole his from the Hapsburg museum when his army conquered Austria. Through vicious prodding from the turn cloak, he reveals that the Vatican has the second piece and their allegiance with Hitler allowed him to essentially have two pieces. The turn cloak kills the sub commander because he left her to fend for herself (which caused her to become a turn cloak).

Most of the team stays to clean up the mess and look for the spear piece while the turn cloak recruits some of the commandos to follow her to Rome. At this point she has become Indy’s antagonist and kidnaps him to aid her quest. In Rome, the pope feigns ignorance about the spear which only angers the turn cloak causing her to blow a hole into St. Peter’s Basilica’s catacombs and look for it herself.  Indy does manage to escape the team during the explosion and digs through their records to find the suspected location of the third shard. The turn cloak notices Indy’s disappearance as they are attacked by the Swiss Guard and are eventually forced to retreat. She comes across Indy and discovers that the final piece in Agharshapat, Armenia. As the team travels to Armenia they learn that the Antarctic piece has been discovered and should start beginning to curb the tide once it returns to the US.

Armenia is currently under Russian rule and when the team tries to sneak in through one of the borders it alerts the Russians. They send a force to meet them, headed by the commander who released Indy.  Indy misleads the turn cloak’s team by suggesting two possible churches while he sneaks off to find the piece in a third location. He scouts the location and enters the tomb. The turn cloak, expecting him to betray the team, follows him and sets explosives up around the site as the Russians approach. Indy comes back up to the surface to see a stalemate between the turn cloak and Russians tanks.

Indy calls to the sympathetic Russian commander and the three of them enter the catacombs to discover Indy has gotten past all of the booby traps. Indy explains that the spear must go to the Russian commander to create a balance to the piece the Americans have. He explains that a Nazi-like regime awaits the country that controls 2 or more pieces. He also believes the Russian commander would be a respectful guardian of the other piece (due to his sympathy toward Indy), which in turn angers the turn cloak. She sets off her explosives just as the Russian commander reaches for the spear. Luckily, the Russian and Indy are saved by its powers and the turn cloak dies under the rubble. The Russian commander and Indy are dug out and the Russian commander keeps his promise to protect the spear piece and create a balance between the nations. Indy returns to the US and the Cold War swings into full force with two powers controlling shards of destiny.

Australia! Sydney to be precise!

I’ve been waiting to rant and rave about Australia for a while, much earlier than this blog. For me, the rants provide a good conversation started because in fact Americans don’t know shit about Australia. I’m convinced that the only influences from Australia are: Outback Steakhouse and their blooming onions (and the commercials), Crocodile Dundee, and the Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin. I always have a great opener because I have a dislike for most people that go to a foreign country and talk your damn ear off about how awesome it is and why it’s better than anything in America. Kids that go to Europe bring this up pretty often and I must not be the only one that doesn’t tire of these remarks. So when people ask me about it my response is usually “Jesus Christ that country”.

Nothing gets a laugh out of them more when I explain all of the differences between the two countries and things that we find “odd”. Please don’t take offense Australia, you are part of a breed of people too classy for Americans (clinks glass and winks). Ok, lets start with things that bugged the hell out of me when I was there.

1) Australian tv shows. I turned on my tv literally 4 times and 3 of those times I ended up watching Big Bang Theory. The highlight of one of my TV experiences was Letters and Numbers which was a combination of Scrabble and Math problems. I was confused as fuck by Aussie Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. Most of the big American shows (Game of Thrones, Dexter, Breaking Bad) we just starting up their new seasons where in the US they had been out for a while. So of course, most of the nerd community that I hung out with had already seen them.

2) Mexican food. You never think about it but Mexican food is something Americans are spoiled with. The general lack of it in Australia bugged the hell out of me. Even the lack of a Taco Bell made me want to pound my head against a god-damn door while I was there. Australia’s equivalent of Mexican food is Thai food which while decent, doesn’t compare to the fattiness of a cheesy burrito. I made due with shitty burritos for $11 on occasion but I definitely pigged out when I came back. Maybe we should trade some Mexican immigrants for Thai immigrants to get that fixed! Everyone would prosper!

3) Butter flavored Cough Drops. One day when I was sick (I was sick 4 times in four months by the way) and I had to rush to a “chemist” before it closed after work. Trying to make it through all the weird brands of cough medicine led me to grad the nearest cough drops in a yellow package. Being an unassuming American I would have thought they would have been lemon but what a surprise I had when I came home to what one of my friends described as “butterscotch” flavor. It’s not butterscotch when the bag has a knife carving a GODDAMN STICK OF BUTTER!

4) Smoking. My mom smokes so I’m used to it but Jesus Australia, cut down on that shit! You would think the $15 dollar packages would be enough! It was funny seeing all the people rolling their own cigarettes (my first thought was that they were rolling joints as most of us Americans react). And would you lower your alcohol prices also? Sydney is like the only place I know where it’s the same price to get a drink in a bar as it is to buy it. This may explain why I barhopped more than I would in the States.

I’m sure I’ll think of more later! This is just a taste! I’m off to watch Game of Thrones!

Explanation of the Blog Title

It’s that time! Time to explain what “thecatratresearcher” means! I know you’ve been waiting all this time I’m absolutely sure. Well I’m the youngest expert on cat-rat relationships in the world…well maybe second youngest…most likely the world…I’m not entirely sure but I’m pretty sure if you know what I mean. Is that clear enough? Good. Well let’s begin four years ago during my freshman year at Indiana University. I was in the IU STARS program which allowed me to work in a lab as soon as I started freshman year. I was in Dr. T’s behavioral psychology lab where we did a lot of work with rats. I still joke with friends that we are one of the lab’s they make fun of in movies because we do run rats in mazes with cheese and play around with circadian rhythms and such. Well  Dr. T told me about another professor, Dr. M, who was trying to isolate a compound produced by cats that causes a fear-like response in rats. When rats came across these compounds found on cat fur and collars they would run away and/or, decrease movement, stop eating, etc. The goal of the research was to isolate the compound for use in non-toxic rat repellents, anxiety models (to test the effects of various anti-anxiety drugs), and to understand olfaction (smell) a little bit better. Dr. M was at IU because he was looking for volatile odor chemists with the technology to study pheromones. He somehow got in contact with Dr. T and I was introduced into the field. My first semester was a bust as I tried to create a set-up that could properly capture this phenomenon. Since we weren’t allowed to have cats in our dorms it was quite hard to come across a decent amount of cat fur. We used Q-tips rubbed against a cat mainly but none of them worked; I also used the maze you see above to put the rats and the cat odors in.

It wasn’t until the next semester when I had better sources of odors that the ball began rolling. I started with with the volatile chemists testing compounds that they had synthesized from readings of various sources. We didn’t have much success but at least we were trying, right? We I spent the next three years off and on testing various compounds. We did have some success with trapping the compound in a solution but every time we tried try and isolate it (using molecular filters) we would seem to lose potency.

During this time I had a personal project that eventually developed into my honors thesis and eventually my published manuscript. It was a combination of ideas which I spent a fair amount of time putting together to create a much larger picture. The first main piece was a lucky guess. I looked at all cat odor stimuli that had been tested and I noted that no one had tried to test cat rubbings. These rubbings occur when cats rub against objects and people and they leave behind a barely discoverable smear. Well I did an initial testing with my rats and it went quite well which quite shocked me. At the same time I was puzzling over the term kairomone. It refers to a compound produced by one species that aid another, oftentimes having no effect or a detrimental one to the producer. It’s seen in certain species of insects where a predator would produce a compound or even a byproduct that prey pick up upon and avoid. Well there was no explanation why cats produce a compound that elicits a fear response in rats without any effect in their own species. Well I began research on these rubbings to see if I could make a connection between the two.

From what I was able to find, cats tend to use these markings as a “facebook” for other cats, leaving markers relating to sex, dominance, and estrous cycle. I’ve even believed it might have something to do with ownership (cats do like to rub their food bowls, regions where they eat, their masters) but I haven’t found much in the literature. Well I took a jump and stated that cats use these rubbings for social purposes that the rats picked up upon. Basically, the rats that smelled these markings and stayed away (even if to avoid them for novelty’s sake) increased their chances of not being eaten and lived on to bred. This ability was then passed onto their children and eventually part of the population at large. It’s a hell of a jump but at least it’s a start! I went to work in Australia for a few months and near the end of my time we replicated my study in the states and and added to create a stronger manuscript. This is definitely only the beginning; if we could find the actual compound we could test my hypothesis with more conclusive experiments. I might even post my paper on here when I get the pdf format.

Until then, I hope all is well!

I’m Commander Shepard and this is my experience in the Mass Effect universe.

Well, I started at the beginning of the month but I replayed Mass Effect 1 and 2 with a new character in order to play Mass Effect 3. I would have used my original character but I lost a few people at the end of Mass Effect 2 and I wanted to see what a difference it would make in the third one. I’m glad I did too because most of the characters have decent roles in the third one, though I’m sure they are swapped out for similar characters if they died. Playing ME1 is still really fun for me because I love the worlds. Sure the Mako is a pain to drive but I still really liked it at points (even trying to drive up the side of a mountain). I really liked the chance to actually EXPLORE some worlds. Id did really bug me that for the most part they were completely empty. I think the novelty of making choices was new at that point (and yes I had played KOTOR before).

I was super excited for Mass Effect 2 but I waited a while after it came out to play it. And for the most part I was disappointed with it. I’m one of like five people right? One of the biggest problems I had with it was the loyalty side quests. I thought they really dragged down the game, “yo Shepard there are aliens attacking colonies, can you help me deal with my personal problems first?” And if I wasn’t particularly interested in the character it made them worse. The only redeeming touch now is that your choices in those missions have a much larger role in this game (at least the more interesting ones in my opinion). They also really toned down the rpg elements to the point where I felt like a baby playing the game. To me it felt like Bioware thought I was too stupid to handle the degree of customization in the first one (they fixed this a bit in the third one though). I still liked most of the main missions and the premise behind the “suicide mission” but the hybrid human-reaper as a boss was kind of silly. In fact it doesn’t bother me when a game doesn’t have a final boss, sometimes I prefer fighting a bunch of tough guys to the point where I might lose (something ME3 does right).

ME3 ranks somewhere between 1 and 2, maybe slightly below 1 because of the ending. Oh the ending, what a disappointment. I was so worried when playing it that it would be bad due to the amount of bad press it was getting. I was hoping against hope that it might be an ending that most people don’t like but I do (like certain movies). But when you are given a “choice” at the end to decide the fate of the universe I was wary. I chose synthesis because it was the most unique, didn’t destroy the geth, and didn’t turn me into a crazy like the Illusive Man. What I was treated to was a confusing ending where everything explodes green and the Normandy crash lands with a synthetic Joker walking out. WHAT?

Ok, that seemed a little bit weird. What are the other endings like then? I went online and watched a bit of the other ones and they were almost exactly the same with a few minor deviations. Well god damn! I was kind of pissed and I understood why others sent colored cupcakes to Bioware. I see the endings as being incredibly lazy or preparation for DLC or a possible spinoff game. My guess is that the ending is preparation because the endings are so similar that you could make a new game without many changes to the premise (my characters will be “synthetic” and have powers accordingly) and they have to get off the deserted planet. But damn guys, you should have thought about your main intellectual property. In a game of choice you don’t get to really choose an ending. Hell, all I’m asking for is three different endings, you can even keep the choices the same (though the god stuff is kind of a cop-out, I’m also looking at you LOST). I’m curious to see what Bioware is going to end up doing with all this fan outrage; they are supposed to make an announcement in April. We’ll see!

My favorite song from the ME3 soundtrack: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpJz25ac9TA

I hope all is well.

My mind rebels at stagnation. Give me problems, give me work…

I better write something tonight or else I’ll quickly lose interest in blogging :/. I have been busy this weekend; I worked from 4pm to 3am Saturday night and from 4pm to 11:30pm. I work in a microbiology lab which means we get specimens including, swabs from wounds, urine samples, stools, and a host of not so pleasant things that we culture so doctor’s can give a diagnosis. I’m surprised on the amounts we receive on a daily basis but it makes sense given that we collect them from many clinics and the big hospitals of Indianapolis. Thank the heavens I am not spending the rest of my lift there! I have to really crack down on picking a graduate school and working on my GRE scores a little bit.

I’m a bit scared. This is the first time in my life that I actually have to decide what I want to do with my life. Up until now I’ve pretty much winged it and picked a general area of study, but now I have to actually pick an area and stick with it. Oh sure, you can always change people say…but not me. Once I choose something I tend to stick with it for better or worse. I have been avoiding the graduate school decision by focusing on my paper and going to Australia but both are done with. Once my paper is actually put into press then I can’t hide behind it anymore! I kind of know where I want to go, preferably Australia or Hawaii because they both have professors that complete work that I want to do. The probably is that they are both very expensive. I also really question if I can put up with grad school. I feel like a shitty writer because undergraduate doesn’t prepare yourself very much for it. Oh sure, I’ve taken a few classes and had to write a few essays but I’ve never been critiqued very much in my life. The only thing that comes to mind in recent times is my manuscript which went through so many drafts I stopped reading the corrections at one point. Also, can I put up with the hours? I bitch and moan about working overtime at my current position now, what makes me think that I would do the same in someone’s lab. I only hope that I would be interested enough (which I would most likely be) in whatever I am doing. I did ok in Iain’s lab, getting in around 11 and staying till 6 (usually without any lunch) but then again I didn’t have hw for the most part. That reminds me, I’ll have to talk about Australia at some point. Maybe I can cheat and just post a bunch of my letters to my gf and call them “posts”. Maybe on my off days.

My birthday is coming up! It’s my first one that I don’t give a damn. It comes down to going to a good restaurant, a few drinks, and some time with my girlfriend, as well as a few presents. I think that’s all I want anymore, but I can’t get that until I retire. Why can’t I spend the rest of my young adulthood in a foreign country working on a beach or something soothing. I can’t run away with my college debts but sometimes, sometimes I really want to do it. I want to take Lizz with me and we can both become hermits, cut ourselves off from the rest of the world and just be. Man, that sounds pretty awesome for a moment. Maybe some day. Maybe. For now I’m here, time to make a decision Pony Boy! I’ll let you know what I choose when all is done and done I guess, assuming that I’m still writing.

Point of Interest: An AMA (Ask me Anything) on Reddit on a state lottery employee. An interesting read: http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/qs173/iama_employee_of_a_state_lottery_with_intimate/

Signing off. Good night and good luck!

I’m off the edge of the map, here there be internet monsters.

Jesus, look at all the damn things you can do with this thing. I just wanted to type some words in a public space for nobody to hear. Now I have to update my profile pic and explain as many things as possible about me in bit-size morsels. Ok, well that will be later quasi-facebook :/. Where to begin? I thought it would be fun to try this out after reading a bit too much of Anthony Bourdain’s sarcastic ramblings and mostly being hung over after a few drinks. My tolerance has sure as hell dropped after I left college (and Australia of course).

There’s so much to talk about and so little time of course! Where to begin, my recent post-graduate adventures? My research? My job (no of course not)? My family? My friends? My two-year girlfriend (maybe later). My snootiness for just about everything (actually mostly movies and books but my girlfriend would say everything)? My horrible taste in music (FACT!)? My collection of cherished THINGS including: signed Dark Knight script, 1184 US Springfield rifle, BTTF model replica, my high school and college diplomas, OR MY RECENTLY ACCEPTED PAPER TO BE PUBLISHED! Yeah, it took me 3 years in two labs on different continents and a rejection from one journal but it’s finally done! Yeah, I’m cool like that. I’ll talk about my research later, this is only my first post.

And that’s about it for today, I’m to do more important things including replaying Mass Effect 1 and 2 so that I can see how my “decisions” play a role in Mass Effect 3. And work at 4 obviously. Fact: Working in a microbiology lab around MRSA can make you a positive carrier for it. AWESOME! I need to find a new job until until I go to graduate school.

I also want my posts to end with something I am reading, playing, or watching or something I found amusing and wish to share. I have three daily pleasures in my life: reading books (eclectic tastes), watching movies/tv, and playing video games. Here is my goodreads account where I have painstakingly cataloged the books I’ve read with little stars on how they rank (http://www.goodreads.com/friend/i?i=LTM2MDExODgxNjA6MzY4). Today’s amusing video is………..

http://www.ign.com/videos/2012/03/09/portal-2-post-mort

Watch only if you played Portal 2, it’s an hour long presentation of how they made Portal 2. Best part obviously is when they ALMOST created a Morgan Freeman sphere. Quoting from PC Gamer, “Players were originally supposed to find the Morgan Freeman sphere sat on a lonely stand in the middle of an empty room. “He’d been sitting on that little pedestal for a few centuries, and he was just incredibly, incredibly wise” said Wolpaw. “But only about the 20 by 20 space that he was in.” “As soon as you dragged him 22 feet out of the room, his mind was blown and he was pretty much useless. Although as the game progressed, he eventually got his feet under him and started delivering some homespun wisdom that all related back to this 20 by 20 space.” Yeah, that would have been fucking awesome! And I picture it to sound like this guy as Morgan Freeman (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbIqL-lN1B4).

Whoa, someone started rambling at the end! Anyway I’m off…good luck and good afternoon!